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| He doesn't love her.
The end. | | |
| When they first met, it wasn’t the usual ‘hello there’ and ‘hi’. It was just that heated moment of eye contact, that moment when they caught the other looking, the moment they would remember forever, or at least the girl would. It was at the R&R, they were just sitting at the café. The girl was alone, eating away her sandwich, just looking around and did some people-watching until she felt a pair of eyes rested on her. She turned and saw, behind that particularly annoying pillar, a pair of beautiful eyes that belonged to that boy over there. He was with his friends at a table for four, he didn’t even flinch when she stared back at him. They remained still, just awhile. When later, her classmate from school asked her to join her and her friends, she went and sat diagonally opposite that boy’s table but totally forgot about him, not until registration. All girls and guys have separate counters. She hated queuing which was why she waited and waited until she was literally the last girl to register. There were more guys, so although she was the last girl standing(or sitting), there were a few more guys left. She glanced to her left and noticed that pair of beautiful eyes. They belonged to the cool looking guy with typical schoolboy hair with fringe. That guy was wearing his purple and white school shirt, just staring ahead at specifically nothing, just like that. No matter how much she willed him to turn and look at her, he didn’t. She registered and ate and went to her new home. Two weeks passed before she decided to approach him. That two weeks was bliss to her. It was a crush. Crushes are stupid and they make you so damned happy for the slightest thing. She was happy when she caught him looking at her from the corner of his eyes, when they passed by each other when walking, when she could see him when they were in their lines, when she could recognise him even from the back, when she could differentiate him from the rest even in dark mornings. She would observe everything he did when they were in the hall, the little things he did she thought were so cute, she noticed he loved sleeping and would always fall asleep when listening to talks. He played childish pranks on his friends, he was a very sporty person. When her friends told her that they saw him looking at her, she floated on cloud 9. They kept telling her that he might have liked her back, too. After two whole weeks, it was a Saturday. The girl was sitting with her friends in the canteen with each of their cellphones in their hands. She wanted to be the one approaching him first because she knew, she knew that he would never ever approach her(because she was not worth it). Suddenly, her friend who was sitting next to her took her phone and went to the guy who was sitting with his other friend. She asked him to type out his number on the girl’s phone because the girl over there(her friend pointed at her)wanted his number. The guy looked over and gestured as if to say ‘her?’, the girl was so so happy she couldn’t stop grinning, she waved and grinned her best well.. grin. The friend brought her phone back to the table with his number on the number pad. Who knew that friend went extra stupid and tried calling. The friend didn’t know that the girl’s phone was a bit cuckoo and that after calling, the number wouldn’t appear on the log. So, the girl was frustrated, another friend offered to get his number, again. Damn. She started texting him only after she got back to her new home. They texted until midnight and she fell asleep first. The next day, she replied his text and started texting until the ‘do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend’ topic came up. He asked her, she said nope; she asked him, he said, maybe, it’s still considered as yes. She was heartbroken, she didn’t know what to reply him so she left it as that and stopped replying him. When everyone gathered, he looked back and asked that girl’s best friend to ask for the girl. The girl was kind of shocked that the guy was being so proactive, she looked at him, he gestured, let’s go for a walk later, yeah? She nodded. She was secretly happy, so damned happy.
To be continued..
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| He blinked. "What?," he asked as confusion clouded over. I repeated whatever I had to say, without turning back, I grabbed my bag and my coat, I left him there, still trying to digest whatever I said and later, I heard, slumped into depression. I had no idea, at that moment I chose to leave him, for good. I wanted to throw everything I had away and walk back to that man who gave me love, comfort and amazing words, I wanted to hold him tight and never let go but sometimes that's the way life was.
Everytime when the first snow fell, I would write him something and keep it safe in that pink box I purposely bought to contain all the love I had to keep from him. I promised him that I would return, this time with success and fame. I knew he didn't care about any of those but I couldn't stand being with him when myself was nothing. I promised him. I was sorry, I really was.
We are almost there, beautiful. Never give up. I'll be there with you.
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| You always thought when the sea is calm, there will be something horrifying right after to take away all that serene peace that you know you will soon lose. You always stop before you achieve something or anything at all because you are afraid to admit defeat. You learn to shut yourself down because you dont ever want to feel the pain anymore. You push me away everytime, but because I still love you nevertheless, I'm there for you, when you decide to open up to the world, to love and to me.
The world has nothing to offer to me, except you.
You were sitting right there in front of me, on the couch. I was standing in front you, demanding for your company. You said you wanted to sit in that night, but I wanted you to accompany around, with our disguise that made everything even more challenging. You were obligated but I didn't know why. You said you would accompany me as long as I cook you something that night. I happily promised and so we went out, to everywhere and anywhere in Seoul. I didn't care. As long as we're together.
Silence is something I don't want to get between us.
We went home and as promised, I cooked you something. I cooked my favourite Beijing fried rice. I thought you might like it too. True enough. You loved it. It was so amazing, that feeling when somebody you love smiling at you, as if you were the reason, the only reason. It was so mesmezing, the way you looked at me. Until I did something that I regretted that night, but not forever. I reached over and kissed you over your plate of fried rice but immediately you pushed me away. I could only stare at you, probably with hurt written all over my face. With that, I stood up along with my manly ego and said, I understand, I'm sorry. Then I left. I knew you. I knew you would not open up that easily to anyone, including me. It was okay. I swore I would make you mine one day and it would be forever.
It takes two to love.
I thought everything you did was so cute and pretty. The way you pulled down your form-fitting dress after you did some embarrassing moves at the recent concert. The was you kissed the members out of friendship, out of love for our fans. It was all eye-candies for me, who was always watching you. I was always looking out for you, for fear you might be hurt, so I was always there.
Fear is nothing with you with me.
When one night I slipped into bed with you and held my arms tight around your fragile body, you didn't push me away. Instead, you turned around to face me with eyes that shone of brilliance and sincerity. I waited for you to say something, anything at all. But when you didn't, I inched closer until there was barely a gap between us. Finally, the barrier you built between us that was supposed to keep me away, it finally broke down and left you feeling exposed. I knew. I didn't move fast, I just hugged you and when I felt you hugging back, I smiled and that was how I fell asleep in the arms of love. I woke up the next morning to see you staring at me, as if lost in thoughts. I knew you didn't know what to do next. I showed you. That was when I kissed you and that one kiss, you didn't reject. I felt so happy. I was happy.
Hey Heechul, this is Hangeng from China. I love you. ♥
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| She sat and looked at him
He was here but not tamed
His mind somewhere else he claimed
She sobbed and said you're mine
He turned away and doubt that she's sane
How can you say that, she exclaimed
She touched her heart and felt the pain
He said he has nothing more to say
All she could do was watch him walk away
End ♥
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